Size is not important when defending your wicker chair

It's a balmy Saturday evening. The bbq is going and today we are cooking a chicken along with some lamb sausages and a pineapple for dessert. We first had bbqed pineapple last night during our romantic date at the Halia Bistro at the Botanic gardens. After a superb appetizer and main course we finished the evening off with a lush dessert. A ginger laced nougat parfait with bbqed pineapple. The contrast of sharp, crunchy and sweet was absolutely divine and we left knowing I would have to repeat this once we finally enter our new home. Clearly I had to let my French sister know about this and wrote to her this morning as I know she will try and reproduce it as fast as I can say "Zut!".

Still, today is our last bbq here at the residence and we duly bought a pineapple to try out. I am sitting at the table while Max is at the bbq and a small leaf falls on the back of the chair in front of me. I barely register it but then I notice the leaf moving upwards and I get curious. It’s not a leaf at all but an inch long praying mantis crouching on its long thin legs, bright green in colour. “So cute” I think and lean over to take a closer look. Immediately the little critter lifts itself in all its 1cm height and starts undulating very slowly side to side glaring at me through his bulbous yellow eyes. I move to the left and his gaze does not falter, he turns his head, slowly, deliberate, sizing me up. “Well” I think “he must realise there really is no match” but I am a bit apprehensive to be out stared by this insect. It’s a photo opportunity and I pick up the camera, set it to macro in view of the size of my subject and slowly place it on the chair. My leggy friend immediately starts to run towards the camera lifting his praying arms in a clear attempt to scare it off. Taken aback I remove the camera and stare at the aggressor a bit puzzled. Time to call in the white hunter so I whine and make small whimpering noises of distress and finally get Max’s attention. I explain my predicament and immediately get told off for being a scared little lady, which in reality I am so I happily give him the camera to see what he can do. Max walks opposite to where I am sitting and points the camera at our friend who turns rapidly on his heels, clearly peeved and charges the offending war machine. He reaches the end of the chair and starts to undulate again but this time back and forth as if deciding if a jump is possible. A second later Max jumps back swearing, the camera flies in the air and crashes to the floor scattering its batteries in the process. I lift my head in disbelief, look at the scene of devastation and realise the bug has attacked my hubby and....won! We exchange troubled glances and decide that after all he was here before us so pick up our dishes and cutlery and move to a different table. Once again attitude is what counts, size is irrelevant!