The Durian experience

Well, as promised some time ago, now that I have my own home I decided to try a Durian fruit. Luckily for me (not!) there is a little stall that sells the offensively smelling fruit just round the corner so Max and I decided to buy a small packet of freshly peeled fruit from the vendor who was trying to sells us 5 packs for the price of 3....wonder why!
The knobbly and spiky fruit is cracked open to reveal creamy coloured segments, like those of an orange about 15cm long. The segments are covered in a very thin membrane. I thought the smell would vanish once the fruit was peeled but when we entered the lift the smell managed to saturate the air within seconds and we had to hold our breath until the 5th floor.
We were feeling very guilty when we got out of the lift and hoped nobody would use it straight away.
I immediately took the packet to the maid's room (might as well use it for something if only to store Durians) and we went back to the lounge to decide our strategy.
Not much of one as Max was still reeling from his tummy ache (see previous entry) so he decided I would try it and let him know what it was like.
I took the wrap off and prodded one segment with a knife. The texture was like soft butter or cream cheese and cannot really be cut off as it become mush when sliced. So I took a little piece with my fingers opened my mouth and.....ate.
Well, the smell of vomit and sewage is not representative of the flavour so this is an improvement however the texture is a cross between cream cheese and curdled milk and it sticks to one's mouth in a rather unpleasant way. There is a hint of sweetness and a sickly vanilla flavour, you know which one right? The artificial vanilla that just tries too hard to be like the real thing and it's just not good!
But apart from that it really is tasteless and nothing to shout about. The smell however lingers in the mouth and you must drink something strong to cleanse the palate.
Max clearly supported me during my culinary adventure by making faces and telling me I was smelling like rotten meat and inching a little further away on our sofa bed which is not that large to start with meaning he ended crouching on one end and giving me dirty looks.
Needless to say the rest of the packet was duly disposed of down the rubbish chute.
And.....I am inclined to say that my Durian days are over.